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The main ideas and central claims of this essay are suggestive and sophisticated. You certainly seem to understand, in general, Polley’s project.
The problem here–and I’ve given you this feedback on almost every single thing you’ve written for this class–is that it is too general. Or too general too often. There is virtually no detailed evidence here at all. The closest you come to providing evidence is when you note that Michael’s perspective is “reflective” and “melancholic.” But even here you provide no actual evidence.
Without evidence, you can’t prove your main claims, you can only assert them. In addition, at least in this case, your approach leads to a great deal of repetition. Over and over you talk about the way stories and memories create a family’s collective identity. This is certainly true, but nevertheless you shouldn’t keep saying it.
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